FRIENDSHIP IN FACEBOOK

A PHILOSOPHY OF FRIENDSHIP IN FACEBOOK

Facebook is one of the fastest growing social networks, which one can use as a means to cross worldwide and had a descriptive knowledge about different culture from their own living room,  despite our differences in appearance and geographical distance. It can even helps one to extend voluntary friendship with others caroused the border. However, it is not my interest to explore the merits or demerits of investing times in Facebook, rather my query will be excavating the true meaning of friendship.

I still remember the excitement I had couple years back when I opened Facebook account for the first time. I scrolled the mouse up and down inspecting beautiful girls (which any person of my age would had probably done) for an hours; finally, sent friend request to whom I found interesting, which I had never been acquainted personally. I was thrilled to witness, most of them are not hesitated to accept the request (but it doesn’t take much time to discover why? as I venture on…). Soon after an hours or minutes of sending friend request the notification of acceptance alarmed in the form of symbol. As a human, we have natural tendency to say ‘thanks’ when we feel owe to someone for something and obviously we imply that even in Facebook when friend request is being accepted.After a few moments, another notification come, “likes,” plus welcome (or kum2) so and so. That is usually the beginning either the end of friendship,majority ends with nothingness but his/her picture continues to survive in friendship list. After using Facebook for couple of years one day I browse my friend lists and found more than 700 people, who hardly invite me to start farm villa or join mafia wars etc. (Indeed it was my honor to get invitation…J)Apart from this there is nothing, no messaging neither sharing. Looking at them more closely I noticed that the term ‘friend’ has become ambiguous and unclear. I paused myself for a moment, and allowed my mind to flow back centuries behind to consult the real meaning of friendship from the Greek wise man called Aristotle.He gives different meanings of friendship which still sounds vagarious and appealing even today.

Aristotle claims that there are three types of friendship:

1.Friendship of Utility. You relate to a person as long as that person serves a purpose. When that person ceases to serve a purpose you have no reason to remain in contact with him/her. I will only see my hairdresser for a trim. I am not inviting him for latte, dinner or some short of party.

2.Friendship for leisure or amusement. You relate to a person because you have things in common. You gain pleasure from each other’s company. Thus besides utility, you seeks its other company because you get some entertainment from one another. If that starts to sour, you are likely to distant yourself. I certainly would have no intention of socializing with someone who’s going to discuss the removal of warts. However if that person can talk stimulatingly about the needs of our Kuki-Culture, philosophizing or theologizing our essential needs as a tribe or community, anything that relates to, then YES I am all ears.

3. Friendship for its own sake. This is considered by Aristotle to be the highest form of friendship. You are not seeking utility or recreation, you just accept that person’s nature-meaning that you accept all aspects of that person no matter what, because you want to maintain your friendship, as you think so well of them.

Aristotle said the third type of friendship is the hardest type to establish, but it is also the type that lasts longest. The first two types are more common, yet they fizzle out very quickly as our needs and interests change.

Facebook friends basically fall under the given first two groups, precisely utility and amusement. We sometimes make a friendship having the intensity of achieving own desire, for instance you sent a request coz you like his/ her personality either looks, or you want to use a person as a means to contact whom you wish to know, either you wanted to earn Facebook popularity by performing a kinds of creativity under the witness of huge online friends. But the real friendship take us miles apart from the first two given notion. A real friend is not someone who sends me some funny picture or invites me to join different groups neither sends me verities of entertaining games. But a real friend is the one whom I can trust, share my joy and sorrow, the one who shows his/her concern when I felt emotionally alienated from society or other phenomenon of life. The one, who gives a little smile as an encouragement and says, “You can do it man”, when I felt I have no more energy to carry on with life. In fact a real friend is more than what I try to sum-up precisely.

With the realization of the true meaning of friendship, I personally felt the mistake of infringing the codes and values of true friendship in Facebook. However, it is not my intention to introduce you, to have a nasty relationship with others who are not in your friendship list, Neither it is my objection over a friendly relationship you maintain with others, but what I try to sum up lucidly is we must have a person to whom we can really say, ‘I trust you coz you are my friend,’ even in social networking.